Deleting things

This week has been awful, horrible. I want to erase it from the calendar and from my mind. I feel as if people played with me as if I'm a dirty doll and nobody wants to be friends with me. 

I don't care about what would they think anymore. I...I feel betrayed. Things are not as I thought they were anymore. I don't know who I should trust and to whom I should talk about me and my problems. My so-called-friends are always kicking me off their lives, first not telling me about their trips, then breaking my trust and friendship when they say I should be away of their lives. Am I that bad? Don't I deserve, at least, a little bit of trust anymore? 

People may appear in my eyes as if they were nice, gentle, and capable to do lots of things for me, but in the end, I'm the only one giving all I have and having nothing in return. 

Maybe someone will read this, maybe not. But I don't care. I'm trying to write everything is on my mind right now, at 1.35AM, alone in my room and listening to my favourite KPOP group which has brought me happiness but also a river of tears. 

A depressed me.